My Teen Girl Suddenly Starts Wearing Skirts and Dresses
You should think more about spongebob squarepants, and less about transgender surgery costs.
It is a trend and an emerging science
Link to Google Ngram Viewer
It is both a trend in human history and in the behavior of your specific child, since it has only shown signs at age 13. It's an emerging science, a vogue, a recent phenomenon, and anyone that would headline a comment contradicting the above factual graph, is writing a non-sense headline.
You should never get rocked emotionally by the immediate needs of a child, because it will prevent you from rationalizing on responsible decisions
At no previous time in history would a 13 year old look up surgery costs for a sex change on a confusing media system.
In industrial culture and communities, recently, kids have heard of transgender surgery from many local sources, newspapers, friends at school. That can be opposed to pre-industrial communities.
It would be historically rare for a parent to not be experienced enough with childcare to know how to normalize conversations and relations with a child so that they can say whatever they feel without creating confusion in the adult.
In the 1990's, if a child would have said "I want to be a boy", they would say "she's a tom boy" and let her to start dressing like a boy for fun, for a while to see if they like it, and play with boy's toys and see if it suits them.
In the 1960's parents were extremely open minded with flower power and groovy topics, but "transgenderism" ellicited very littly attention from the hippy community, even though all sexual topics were very free and fair.
In the 1820's a child would have said "I want to be a boy" and the parents would have smiled and said "Oh poor hunny, well if you prey enough, perhaps you will grow into one"
It's only in the 2020's that a 13 year old child would read about grafting a replacement penis between her legs in her home library, and that she should see a doctor if she insists.
Children are full of surprises and moodswings and obsessions, they will learn what you show them, and your emotional clarity and judgement affects them strongly
I would just suggest that you have as sociable a time as possible with your child, and seek advice and time with people with more parenting confidence and experience than you do. Spend days with local families and couples, see how they behave, they have the same questions as you, but they probably give their children very much space to express their curiosities and social boundaries (including male and female tendencies like dressing as a boy and doing masculine things), without giving a care in the world.
I Wouldn't bat an eyelid for her, while thinking long term
The holidays have just ended. This is the time of the year when children should be reflecting on some wonderful things that they have done recently and all the wonderful things that they can do. She does not shound like she has enough fun. And that could be a reflection of yourself. Children in sedate homes have more chance of being distant and so on. she sounds depressed. She sounds bored of her current lifestyle, socially isolated, early pubescent, curious, subject to excessive close attention for her personal space that day, and that's perfectly normal in the deconstructed communities of today, where people don't live near their grandparents or their extended family, nobody has open doors that inhibit local children from playing together all day in open natural spaces... It's not just you that is confused. If you did have extended experience of nanny work, you would make hundreds of decisions differently than you do today, including giving your 13 year old adult reading material like transgender surgery for her birthday, and you would probably not give her very much screen time at all because: https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2011/09/12/spongebob-attention-span-children-tv-study_n_957849.html
Honestly, myself, I would probably have an infectious smile every time the child was "sedate and edging towards boredom" and I would probably say "Hahaaarr, let's sticky-tape a magic marker (or a sponge) in between your legs i will have some oranges in my top and let's change sex today and forever".
Seriously though, child-parent psychology is very complex and there's little place for it online. Some children have complex mental issues including truly sponeous and obsessive transgender anxiety which have to be addressed by doctors. For the most part, children need to exert control over their parents, and show their independance and personality power. They want to have more control, and often that can translate into anorexia and delinquency and other issues, so it's difficult to say from your text what the nuances of your child's psychology are in the first place, and to address them in a balanced way.
Children traditionally (pre-industrial) have 20-30 individuals around them from them to learn from, and especially with Covid-19. Perhaps the root cause of your childs concerns is the lack of 20-30 local co-villagers to address the child's complex learning process.
Source: https://parenting.stackexchange.com/questions/40474/my-daughter-just-turned-13-and-confides-in-me-she-wants-to-be-a-boy
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